Poem for a shelter experience
There is this hole;
buried alive
It's Goodbye, time for me to go
Didn't expect it, be this way
All I have is gone, not this hole
Things have piled on me, can't get out
I really dont want, getting out
Family dead to me, took my dog
There's no flowers left, garden's brown
Things are bad, all I had is gone
Can't write any more, you won't read
My pencil is dull, water's scarce
Junk, junk, all is junk, overhead
This is my Goodbye, 'less you dig
But in my head, I will compose
Poems and letters, they'll abide
p.s. you can wait, see if I ...
_ _ _
- Poem Copyright, Jimmiehov 2019, All Rights Reserved
- I am linked with Izadore Gruye in the Imaginary Garden at http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2019/09/out-of-standard-gimme-fallout-shelter.html?m=1
Labels: Fiction, Personal-Challenge-2019, Poem, Real Toads
posted by Jim @ 9/16/2019 11:09:00 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I love that you have the dog with you. And love the incomplete ending.........perfect for the story you are telling.
I love the place your mind went with this .... love!
I really like the sparseness of words an how that helps build a voice and mind frame of the narrator. The way the thoughts begin to trail off and dovetail into each other is also really well done. "Garden's brown, things are bad" stood out to me as a brilliant phrasing and excellent choice of a line break. Thanks for posting to the out of standard!
Certainly taking the one you trust was wise.
I agree with Izy about the sparseness of words, Jim. You’ve conveyed the feeling of being stuck in a hole so clearly, and loss, especially in the lines:
‘Family dead to me, took my dog
There's no flowers left, garden's brown’
and
‘My pencil is dull, water's scarce
Junk, junk, all is junk, overhead’.
But you have your dog :)
I can really see this as a message left in a bottle for a later generation to find.
Post a Comment
<< Home