To Them, to Us
. . . .
v - v - - - To Them, to Us
8 - a - - - He wished she would have said to him
6 - b - - - Please won't you spend the night
8 - c - - - Since she didn't that was okay
6 - b - - - Another day alright
.2 - d - - - Don't cry,
6 - d - - - Her inner being sigh
2 - c - - - Her way,
6 - e - - - Head to keep her heart mum .
.
.
8 - a - - - Meanwhile the two, heads in a swim
6 - e - - - Await, right time would come- - - - -
. Photo, poem Copyright, © 2011 (link), 2014 Jimmiehov, All Rights Reserved
Today I'm linked with Kerry at the "Real Toads, Play it Again, Toads" (link)
Her model for me was from an earlier Challenge,Saturday, December 29, 2012 (link) to write a poem after the Robber Herrick's stanza form.
,
[The earlier instructions were that the first 4 lines follow the 8,6,8,6 (or 4 feet, 3 feet, 4 feet, 3 feet of iambic stress pattern) of Common Measure rather closely, but then the poet introduces a variation in his stanza from lines 5 to 8, of 2, 6, 2, 6 and then back to 8, 6 to close lines 9 and 10. The Ryme scheme is to be abcb ddce ae.]
Labels: Personal-Challenge-2014, Poem, Syllabic Form
posted by Jim @ 6/21/2014 05:12:00 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Beautifull... it reads like a song!!
I appreciate the way you lay out the form requirements alongside the poem itself...great topic to muse on, Jim. :)
Anticipation. Delayed gratification can be best. Sometimes.
Such sense of that awkward moment of who should say the word first... But the tension seem to be growing in a good way.
Time will definitely bear fruit...love this juxtaposition of anxiety and sweetness...nice use of the form...
:) one day, likely soon, it seems.
Both lost in thoughts they hold tightly from their lips....You have captured and awkward moment so well
I'm sure the right time will come - that is my hope for lovers the world over. I am pleased to see you tried this tricky form, Jim.
Wonderful, Jim~
This reminds me of the teens in my life~ The tug of war with emotions! Well Done
The right time will come, I like the positive spin in the ending ~
Grace
Very well-written, Dr Jim :)
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