The River
..
I looked up the river
.
I looked up the river
.
I looked up the river for more
I saw what everyone else sees
Bridges, and boats going to
sea
Children walking along the shore
But there was more than that, I knew
Men, women who built the bridges
Where are they now? On the edges
Famous and rich, only a few
.
More one does not see, nothing new
For every child who walks the shore
Those hungry and cold, hundreds more
Destitute, poor, more than a few
The river is pretty, bustling
Economic activity
Shows its best, yet a brevity
Shadows hide the beggars hustling
Children walking along the shore
But there was more than that, I knew
Men, women who built the bridges
Where are they now? On the edges
Famous and rich, only a few
.
More one does not see, nothing new
For every child who walks the shore
Those hungry and cold, hundreds more
Destitute, poor, more than a few
The river is pretty, bustling
Economic activity
Shows its best, yet a brevity
Shadows hide the beggars hustling
. ..
Picture and Poem Copyright, © 2014 Jimmiehov, All Rights Reserved
.
Today I am linked with Kerry at the Real Toads, Sunday Form Challenge
and Tomorrow I will be linked with Kerry at the Real Toads, Open Link Monday
The Yeats Octave
I chose two 8 line stanzas in iambic (not perfect) tetrameterand Tomorrow I will be linked with Kerry at the Real Toads, Open Link Monday
The Yeats Octave
The basic structure of this 8 line stanza is iambic tetrameter or pentameter (eight or ten syllable lines for those who do not feel comfortable working with meter), with the rhyme scheme:
a b b a c d d c. The poem may then consist of any number of stanzas.
a b b a c d d c. The poem may then consist of any number of stanzas.
.
.
I took this picture in May, 2014, looking South up the Thames River from the London Eye
Labels: Personal-Challenge-2014, Poem, Real Toads, Syllabic Form
posted by Jim @ 6/15/2014 04:09:00 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
I appreciate your power of vision and the thoughts that arise from it....very nicely written..
wow so much to see in the river... most of us would be lost in the beuty of the landscape... and some like you would think beyond !! very beautiful!!
Do you know, I have never considered the very question you pose when looking at modern structures: who and where are the people who built them? The labourers themselves rather than the architects. Your final line is brilliant.
I love how you went deeper than the mere beauty and to the very heart of life. I love your last line.
Yay yes, beautiful close especially, but great river view. Some of the builders actually seem to die--building bridges a pretty fierce activity--thanks. K.
The creation of such structures have a price that we always tend to forget.. same with railways and roads.. the life of navvy was hard
Jim, I love the perspective in this poem - everything looking bright and bustling - and then you show us those in the shadows we do not see, or even think about, looking at the bustling scene - until the poet reminds us that they are there. Well done!
Fabulous job with the form, Jim. Wow!
Yes, there is much we fail to see.
Anna :o[
Well done with the form Jim ~ I specially like this part:
Shadows hide the beggars hustling
You make me see from many angles~ I like this poem~ Sad, but I had a classmate that built bridges in MASS. Brilliant man ended up addicted to drugs and homeless?!
I just found out-I had no idea... Yes, so much we do not see! Well Done
very, very nice. that final line leaves the reader to ponder, for sure. i would not have recognized this as the Yeats form... a great thing, you done good here, Jim.
Empathy and compassion are shown in your poem, Dr Jim :)
Wow, Jim, and Ella's comment brings your observation home...how many bridge-builders end up under the bridge? Engineers and architects who succumbed to addiction, or hourly workers who were injured on the job.
Cities have a million stories. We're fortunate to have you writing with the Toads.
K
strongly penned, Jim ~
So many facets of the river and its many people...well written, Jim.
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