Sunday, March 29, 2009

One Single Impression: Smoke

Remember When

where there's fire there's smoke
us kids on the loose in town
thousand eyes watching

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Don't Remember When

smokey bar in town
whiskey sours -- rye on the rocks
he don't like the smoke

whiff and sniff the air
much cleaner breath found next door
no one here he finds

lonesome -- on the town
back he goes cigar in mouth
smoke rings now he blows
sips fine bourbon laced with gin
sicker than a louse he got

puked his guts all night
he'll blame it on the cigar
'twas smoke done him in


Copyright © 2009 Jimmiehov. All Rights Reserved




Tag: One Single Impression Smoke is this week's prompt
Brought by Deborah Godin of the The Cloud Messinger blogTag: Jim's OSI

Also on May 5, 2015, I linked this post with Kerry O'Connor
at the Real Toads, The Tuesday Platform
Painting is easy when you don’t know how, but very difficult when you do. Edgar Dégas
The same may go for poetry? (whatever, I enjoy painting with the words!)

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27 Comments:

At Sunday, March 29, 2009 12:50:00 AM, Blogger Beth P. said...

Jim--
These made me laugh right out loud!

Smoke always does us in...in a good way, I think!

Thanks for these--and you have a great Sunday!

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 1:01:00 AM, Blogger Jeeves said...

Nice one here:) Indeed thats what smoke does:)

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 3:31:00 AM, Blogger anthonynorth said...

That was fun. A good image portrayed.

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 4:37:00 AM, Blogger Edward S Gault said...

My grandmother once told that as a punishment for taking one of her father's cigars,he made her smoke the box!
She never smoked again.
Thank you for the poem and the memory.

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 5:05:00 AM, Blogger jel said...

yup that was good , :)

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 5:46:00 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

Jim,
I had never had a drink or smoked until I joined the USAF and left my small hometown so long ago when I was still sowing oats...lol

I do recall as a child everyone in our small town runing outside ant time they heard the fire truch which was driven by volunteers.

Thos were the days when we all knew everyone in town...and when a stranger or relative came to visit.

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 5:55:00 AM, OpenID willthink4wine said...

I remember my Dad catching me smoking and making me smoke a cigar. I turned green.

These were great and really took me back, Jim! :]

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 7:23:00 AM, Blogger SandyCarlson said...

Yup. Blame the cigar!

I enjoyed these, Jim. God bless--and thanks for reading my little piece about the biz of making maple syrup!

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 7:51:00 AM, Anonymous Pam said...

Two smokes done him in - great line. I like the contrast between the first poem where the smoke draws the characters in and the second where it drives him out.

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 9:32:00 AM, Anonymous Deborah Godin said...

Oh yes, that has the sound of a real "lost weekend" or some such! Love the photo. too!

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 10:47:00 AM, Blogger Sue said...

I love the use of the phrase "in town" and the play between "loose in town" and "lonesome on the town." The contrast between the kids (as in a group, not alone) living so fast and furious leaving a trail of smoke, and the loner with the loneliness burning him up with booze and smoke... there's humor here but keen observation as well.

I like the fact we chose different variations on the same first line.

 
At Sunday, March 29, 2009 9:04:00 PM, Blogger Tumblewords: said...

Wow! These are terrific! Fun and more!

 
At Monday, March 30, 2009 1:10:00 PM, Blogger Raven said...

These are delightful. I especially like the first one. and the play on where there's smoke there's fire. Well done.

 
At Monday, March 30, 2009 8:56:00 PM, Blogger EastCoastLife said...

I don't drink nor smoke although my Dad does. It's going through all those years of smoky air that makes my brothers and I keep away.

Cigar smoke would be worse. *cough cough* :P

 
At Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:10:00 AM, Blogger Patti said...

Nicely done Jim- good contrast between the 2 poems!

 
At Wednesday, April 01, 2009 12:15:00 PM, Anonymous Kilauea Poetry said...

Cigars can make you green..but I love that smell. My brother blamed the cigars (what he told my foks)- after drinking late at night.
I like this one Jim..

 
At Thursday, April 02, 2009 12:51:00 AM, Anonymous one more believer said...

hi jim, youth is wasted on the young... the poetic story is sorta sad... searching like a bar where everyone knows your name in a subtle sorta way... aint nothin more lonely than drinkin by oneself in a crowd... ahh it's the jd gets ya everytime...

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 1:58:00 AM, Blogger Vandana Sharma said...

well different times, different shades, different memories..........................

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 2:38:00 AM, Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I liked those small towns of old, where the thousand watching eyes kept us more or less safe and good.

The booze might have done it, but I'm sure the smoke didn't help.

LOVE the Degas quote! Applies to any art form, I think.

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 7:58:00 AM, Blogger Sanaa Rizvi said...

Ah enjoyed this delightful piece..! And how ironic :D we wrote on the same topic!
Lots of love
Sanaa

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 8:42:00 AM, Blogger Outlawyer said...

Ha. Charming. I think some people think of smoke as company! But perhaps he should lighten up on the gin. Your work has a kind of homey sweetness that is lovely. I mean that in the best sense and say it in light of your Degas quote. Thanks. K.

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 9:06:00 AM, Blogger brudberg said...

Ha, what could we do except keeping of a good face or fake compliance to the gossip...?

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 9:18:00 AM, Blogger Kerry O'Connor said...

I like the two views of smoke you have presented here - that of fire and cigar.

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 10:26:00 AM, Blogger Gillena Cox said...

LOL smoking cigars is not for everyone.

Thanks for dropping in at my blog
i read an article which says -The Haley's comet shower, however will last through May 20th- you may still be able to see some of it

much love...

 
At Wednesday, May 06, 2015 1:47:00 PM, Blogger Susie Clevenger said...

Yes, it was the smoke/cigar's fault. :)

 
At Thursday, May 07, 2015 5:46:00 AM, Blogger Marian said...

Much cleaner next door. Isn't that always what we think?

 
At Thursday, May 07, 2015 3:39:00 PM, OpenID purplepeninportland said...

Good one, Jim. I say, blame the smoke!

 

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