comes Freedom? -- a poem for Friday Writings
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| Photo from "C o r p u n . c o m" |
Freedom the Hard Way
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Paddle my arse, and kick my tail
'Through discipline comes freedom'
Boot in the butt, I won't wail
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Paddle my arse, and pinch my cheeks
Cry if I don't gain freedom
And won't be freed for long weeks
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Say bad things and box on the ear
Ears will ring, my dog will bark
You'll wonder why I can't hear
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Louder yelling, belt to the rear
Black and blue, my dog might bite
Called the cops, the law is near
Freedom, discipline they don't mold
Though I am tough, 'twas getting old
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- Poem Copyright, Jimmiehov 2024, All Rights Reserved
- I am linked with Rommy for hosting for Magaly and the prompt, second line, "Through discipline comes freedom" for Friday Writings #115 at https://poetsandstorytellersunited.blogspot.com/?m=1
- Magaly previously had decided on a prompt wanted us to be invited to write poetry or prose inspired by the following quote: “Through discipline comes freedom.”
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Labels: Dark, dark poetry, Friday Writings, Hip Hop Form, naughty, Syllabic Form
posted by Jim @ 2/22/2024 11:23:00 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
You present a very good case for what you conclude! Interestingly enough, the few people I know who received corporal punishment as kids became rebels! (So perhaps, in a way, it works? Though not as intended.)
I've argued against the proposition too, though for very different reasons, and reached a conclusion much like your own.
You've written about something serious in a light tone that tells the story so well. Some people must have had it really hard as kids - I am sure it must have been traumatic... I wonder if it made them better parents when their own turn came.
I like the rhythm of your poem. Sometimes the more discipline someone receives the more undisciplined they become in search of freedom from it all.
As Rosemary observes, more often than not people become rebels... or they get really, really good at hiding their infractions to avoid further punishment.
I hate when people try to use "discipline" as if it were merely a euphemism for "punishment." Punishment is supposed to teach people discipline. Does it work? Well...it does take discipline for a big strong teenager to let himself be spanked by a frail old teacher...I guess. (Thinking of eighth grade algebra and the boy who used to draw the old crank's anger onto himself, saying the paddlings didn't hurt him and seemed to relieve the teacher.) But that's not the same thing as the discipline of studying algebra.
PK
Our book club recently finished and discussed a book about the "Indian" schools in Minnesota in the early '30s. It was a difficult read and when several of the "inmates" escaped all I could do was cheer inside my mind.
Your poem shows us what freedom isn't! That old box to the ears...how about a hairbrush to the bottom? Ouch. None of these worked. Love your final couplet, Jim.
I love the way this is written, Jim. Perfect ending!
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