Love (# 1) (reposted, formerly June 3, 2010)
Magaly talked of her first poem. My assignment, the first, over at One Single Impression--now dormant--was to write a love poem. I had never written one so I Googled for instructions.
These, which are integrated into my work, served me, the novice, just fine. (I had dabbled before but not published, not even on-line.)
The picture I included, it was our wedding photo. All family, except my best man.
- - -
They said to write a love poem
To my sweetest, my blossom true
wanting to write you a love poem
telling you how much I love you
fingers to keys sweet words to come
.
tell how you felt when first you saw her
I will try to write a love poem
When first we met my heart went wild
no tender little pitty-pat
but one long jolt you caused, my child,
a bolt from the blue hit my chest
.
how you knew it was her you loved
It came one day into my head
.
Listen to my arrow pierced heart
my life will never be the same
Dan Cupid hit me on the mark
that arrow had your name
tell now about being with her
My life is whole a life complete
I need you always by my side
dearer than chocolate you're so sweet
love you always will you're my pride
are you happy with what you wrote?
.
If I could only write a poem
if I had the sweet words I felt
if I could now put them to print
there would be a love poem for you
discarded thoughts that didn't fit?
Many thoughts I dropped one thing sure
I love you to Heaven above
you can do no wrong you're so pure
I can't live without you my love
- - -
Photo and Poem Copyright
© 2010 Jimmiehov
All Rights Reserved
Prompt suggested by Melanie at Cassiopeia Rises
Labels: Love Poem, Open-Link-Mondays, Poem, prose poem, Real Toads, Syllabic Form
13 Comments:
Somehow there were nine kind souls who left encouraging comments. These are those nine (one was my own):
10 Comments:
At Thursday, June 03, 2010 11:07:00 PM, Blogger Amity said...
Hi Jim;
Wow...but it's a poem in itself? If I were Mrs. Jim, you deserved a wholesome memorable treat!
I smiled on that jolt that caused a child...:) And cupid could always be naughty, forever!
Beautiful Jim, no more, no less!!!
I love the natural flow of thoughts in your poem.
At Thursday, June 03, 2010 11:20:00 PM, Blogger Jim said...
Writing a poem without using punctuation can be dangerous for the unwary.
Here, because of Amity's comment, I added a couple of commas. The child, my love, caused the bolt. A better writer would not have caused any confusion here.
..
At Friday, June 04, 2010 12:48:00 PM, Blogger Sioux said...
What a lovely love poem, Jim!
At Friday, June 04, 2010 2:12:00 PM, Blogger Patti said...
Jim- I love how you did this one! very cool...and I am sure Mrs. Jim just loved it! Great picture too!
At Friday, June 04, 2010 10:20:00 PM, Blogger The Write Girl said...
What a fitting and beautiful tribute. I love the dialogue you created with the questions and the responses through your poetry. It's lovely that you dedicated this poem to the special woman in your life. Nice photo as well. Take care!
At Saturday, June 05, 2010 12:49:00 AM, Blogger Amias said...
Love the way you structured this, love the way you wrote it, love the words you chose. Beautiful Jim, so much love.
At Saturday, June 05, 2010 12:04:00 PM, Blogger Cassiopeia Rises said...
Jim, this is so sweet. She is a very lucky lady, Nice read. Thank you.
Melanie
At Saturday, June 05, 2010 9:13:00 PM, Blogger SandyCarlson said...
That's a beautiful poem. I love that it ends in happiness.
At Sunday, June 06, 2010 7:58:00 AM, Anonymous shraddha said...
very nice one Jim!
Mrs Jim will be proud...
At Tuesday, June 08, 2010 8:18:00 PM, Blogger ˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...
what a beautiful tribute...
a true love letter, Jim...
I am so happy that you found your lost love in her as I did mine in my second marriage.
I too wonder how I could possibly live this long without him...
hugs
shakira
I found the structure an interesting take and the devotion heartwarming. http://www.looseleafnotes.com/2014/08/moon-tide/
The right question always gives birth something calling to be known. I'd say you made it known here.
I believe you wrote a very inspiring, and caring heartfelt poem!
the most beautiful heart felt and loving poem ever... lucky she is and lucky you are to have her!! amazing Jim... thank u for sharing this...
Words of love straight from the heart-what could be more lovely than that?
The form when you have included the help made this even more intense.. actually an interesting way to create a poem.. it becomes very clear --- and straight from the heart,... my first blogged poem was a sonnet to an outhouse.
My sweet goodness, Jim. This is precious. I love the progression (your answer to each "instruction"), the love that is so deep and true that it sparkles out of the screen.
My eyes went misty and my face brightened with a smile as I read these lines:
If I could only write a poem
if I had the sweet words I felt
if I could now put them to print
there would be a love poem for you
Such passion...
The depth of love and commitment in this piece is wondrous!
Wow! So sweet, Dr & Mrs Jim :)
What a beautiful write, I feel the love.
This is a beautiful love poem. What a gift for your wife...priceless
cripes, blogger eats more comments of mine than it publishes! apologies in advance if you end up with two comments from me. i just love this post, Jim, love seeing your process and like Bjorn i think the instructions weaved with your heartfelt proclamations actually really work. i love this stanza:
If I could only write a poem
if I had the sweet words I felt
if I could now put them to print
there would be a love poem for you
that's what it's all about, right there. thanks so much for sharing.
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