Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Good Customer? -- Work in progress

 
 

Day I remember, Macy's bag in hand
I went to the mall, present there to buy 
Object of my search nonchalantly passed
I didn't recognize a soul around
... 

I had started this in hopes of a later poem.  The copied flyer was a part of Victoria Secret's Christmas Special.  I did buy Mrs. Jim a pair of pretty red checked PJ's for Christmas, then saved this one.  But then I didn't go back to use the free panty offer's coupon.

Mainly I'm not sure of where I'm going with it.  Secondly, I ran out of time the day I started.  Although it is based on a true experience, there will be additional information that may not necessarily be true.

Perhaps I should return to Victoria's and watch the men who came in, see how they act, what they do, and how they were treated.  When I came in I was treated very nicely with the clerk giving me some very useful suggestions.  But I did end up with the red PJ's shown in the flyer.
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Photo, poem, and explanation copyright, Jimmiehov 2014, all rights reserved
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Today I am linked in with at (Real Toads, Poems in Progress)(Link)
 
She said this for instructions: "...I am talking about poems that end mid sentence.  Perhaps the ones you started with a wowza first stanza, but then it just unraveled and fell flat.  The poems you think about once in a while with a twinge of guilt for leaving them unfinished...Those poems, I want them. ..."
"AND NOW FOR YOUR CHALLENGE--When posting your poem in progress, leave very specific instructions about where you are stuck, and let us know what you want feedback on.  Maybe even why you stopped writing or what you don’t like about what you have so far.
We toads will respond in kind with our feedback and thoughts to help you finish the poem (huzzah!)."

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10 Comments:

At Wednesday, August 06, 2014 2:03:00 PM, Blogger Arushi Ahuja said...

listed among some interesting two pieces,
I found the wonderful red checkered PJ's!!
haha- chuckling Jim!! have fun with this one!! :)

 
At Wednesday, August 06, 2014 2:43:00 PM, OpenID georgeplaceblog said...

Hmmm, I'm not very good at this... what about delving into Victoria's secret or the sexy little nothings versus red checkered pj's or maybe the feelings of men going into VS. Good luck, I think you can do something with this.

 
At Wednesday, August 06, 2014 8:33:00 PM, Blogger Hannah said...

Maybe you could write this as a how-to guide to buying a sexy little seamless gift with little embarrassment and the best outcome or not...:)

 
At Wednesday, August 06, 2014 9:57:00 PM, Blogger Isadora Gruye said...

I rather like the story as you presented it in the comments, going in with the idea of buying something salacious, but instead buying the jammies. Or perhaps the narrator describes the racy salacious thing, which turns out being safe red jammies (IMO flannel jammies have their own level of excitement)....thanks for putting this out there!

 
At Wednesday, August 06, 2014 11:01:00 PM, Blogger Helen said...

Jim, why not be a "Secret Santa" ... trying to justify to holiday shoppers why you are making multiple purchases of the same bra/panty set in every imaginable size? Ho, ho.

 
At Wednesday, August 06, 2014 11:56:00 PM, Blogger Jim said...

Ha, ha, Ho, ho, Helen!! :) But yes, it would work. I will sleep on it.
..
..

 
At Thursday, August 07, 2014 6:04:00 AM, Blogger Wanda Bates said...

Ah, a cliffhanger! Not sure where to go with it myself. I tend to opt for ridiculous humor, such as the clerk thinking the fellow is a cross-dresser, and him trying to convince her that he isn't. But that's me, a silly old broad.
Thank you for visiting Encyclopedia Netherworld, where things are often ridiculous.

 
At Thursday, August 07, 2014 8:40:00 AM, Blogger Susan said...

Nice start! Do you want to keep the story true? What if, unlike you, he bought both, and as narrator simply "reports" reactions in the store. Does everyone pretend everything is normal? What if he doesn't hide at all? And who is the purchase for? What if it is for someone very old to feel a little young? or did you intend to write a poem about seamless see through panties? Go for it.

 
At Friday, August 08, 2014 5:56:00 AM, Blogger Marian said...

yessss... i really would like to read about how the idea was to get something sexy and yet you bought the PJ's... and what that means. we might all have ideas about what that means but we'd likely be wrong. keep it going, Jim!

 
At Sunday, August 10, 2014 3:10:00 AM, Blogger audrey` said...

Awww... Mrs Jim is so happy, Dr Jim :)

 

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