Saturday, July 19, 2014

This poem is ...

This Poem is an Elephant, a Crawfish,  and a Golfing Man (a Golfer Putting)
This poem is a little reddened crawfish
This poem is a strong elephant
This poem is an old man puttering around

This poem has been crying
it wishes it had more love and affection than it gets
This poem is a doll, a toy waiting to be loved
it will sing and sing as long as her batteries are strong
This poem is a young miss, married for two years
but now she is a crawfish red from crying

This poem is big and strong
it is capable of showing much love and affection
This poem is also a doll, a toy who really is very handsome
It will sing with crocodile tears along with anyone who cries
This poem is a young fellow, married for two years
but who acts like an old lumbering elephant after the honeymoon ends

This poem is love, small and slowed
it is dawdling in slow motion when it should be hurrying
This poem is a figurine, a miniature statue of a golfer, putting
It is slow and steady. It likes to play its game more than to love
This poem is love, love that is puttering around now
And after two years that love is sputtering, very seldom showed.

This poem is a young lass, married two years, a puckered crawfish all red from crying
This poem is a young man, whose love life has gone stale, a lumbering elephant
This poem is love, sputtering love that seldom shows, old man love puttering around
- - - - -

Picture and Poem Copyright 2014, © Jimmiehov, All Rights Reserved

Today I am linked (link) with Hannah at the Real Toads, Sunday's Mini Challenge
Monday Update:  I am also linking (link) with Kerry's Real Toads, Open Mondays posting

Hannah wants us to write in a form she has devised and called it the Boomeranged Metaphor poem. The first set of three lines go out in " Create three, “This poem is a ____,” statements" and are returned at the end with some edification and amplification permitted and perhaps encouraged.
Additionally, upon the return, a metaphor has been developed between each line the first set of three and the final three.  You can learn more from the link above to Hannah's directions.

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At Saturday, July 19, 2014 11:38:00 PM, Blogger Sumana Roy said...

could feel the tears behind the happy little dolls...the form is beautifully used..a very moving poem...

At Sunday, July 20, 2014 6:55:00 AM, Blogger Kerry O'Connor said...

I think you have done a splendid job with this form, Jim. I like how each part makes up one story in the end.

At Sunday, July 20, 2014 7:55:00 AM, Blogger Hannah said...

I love the way you connect your metaphors, Jim and I love the stanza that opens with "this poem is love" I really enjoyed what became of this form for you!! Excellent work!

At Sunday, July 20, 2014 8:19:00 AM, Blogger Grace said...

Each one is like a story in themselves ~ Different faces of love, I like it Jim ~

At Sunday, July 20, 2014 3:19:00 PM, Blogger Helen said...

This poem is .... great! I sense a lot of you here.

At Sunday, July 20, 2014 4:21:00 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Ah! i see the combination is rather clever... and the toys are merely metaphors... lovely Jim!!

At Sunday, July 20, 2014 10:39:00 PM, Blogger Susie Clevenger said...

Such a creative use of the form...there is a bit of tears in love it seems

At Monday, July 21, 2014 9:16:00 AM, Blogger Magaly Guerrero said...

The imagery of the first lines of the second and third stanzas will stay with me: a "poem [that] has been crying", a "poem [that] is love, small and slow." There is something about the tone and movement that just... catches.

From Behind, my Monday Open Link entry.

At Monday, July 21, 2014 9:04:00 PM, Blogger Ella said...

I, too love the story elements and how you joined everything. Mine is disjointed-yours would make a great story.

At Tuesday, July 22, 2014 9:50:00 PM, Blogger Margaret said...

A wonderful commentary on love gone a "puttering".

At Wednesday, July 23, 2014 6:25:00 AM, Blogger Marian said...

gosh, this just winds its way around and makes a subtle and sweet point with its charming images. i really like this, Jim.

At Wednesday, July 23, 2014 8:08:00 AM, Blogger audrey` said...

WOW! Very good, Dr Jim :)

Thank you for asking. Everything is ok, Dr & Mrs Jim :)

At Friday, February 22, 2019 12:26:00 AM, Blogger Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love this one, Jim. I can see the young woman, red from crying, and the tuned-out young man, lumbering about. In fact, i lived this poem, fifty years ago.


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