One Single Impression: Rekindle
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RekindleShe sits huddled in the cold
It's getting darker outside
Can she rekindle the flame
Her lover is lost, long gone
He had been the world for her
A tender hand on her waist
Melding lovers' salty lips
Spontaneous combustion
A passion fueled by their love
Embers hot and bright, crimson
But the flame died when he strayed
No longer warmed, chills abound
His return she prays to God
With pockets full of matches
Lord knows he'll never return
She sits there still in the cold
By the fire that's in her mind
- - -
Photo and Poem
Copyright
© 2013 Jimmiehov
All Rights Reserved
© 2013 Jimmiehov
All Rights Reserved
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poems using the prompt word, rekindle, at One Single Impression.
Also shared and listed with Real Toads, Open Link Monday
Also shared and listed with Real Toads, Open Link Monday
Labels: Fire, One-Single-Impression, Spontaneous combustion, Syllabic Form
posted by Jim @ 5/12/2013 11:26:00 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
sitting by the fire for warmth rekindling the flame within. Very well put!
wonderful, that's really captivating
An intense, excellent write.
very beautifully you have portrayed her pain and wait...
A passion fueled by their love
Embers hot and bright, crimson
But the flame died when he strayed
No longer warmed chills abound
How sad for her. Her man now belongs to someone else. You've crafted it very well Dr Jim!
Hank
Captures the sad, reminiscent mood well...
"No longer warmed, chills abound."
But a bit more attention to punctuation could help the flow of this poem, I think, as would a few sentences which didn't finish at the end of their line. When you read it aloud, it can feel 'choppy' because of so many end stops.
Please move on since he had strayed... :)
This is a sad portrait. So many lonely people in the world...
Damn...that was sad. Keep the matches handy, who knows who's gonna come traipsing through the back yard. New flame is just as warm as an old one...lol. Great job.
Your cadence forced me to slow down, read meaning, understand the two characters. That was a good thing, helping me to listen and see what happened between them, what you wanted us to understand.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/05/13/fig-season/
Your combination of the fire and the feelings was so well done - and it's often a hackneyed combination, but not here, not at all, Jim. "Spontaneous combustion," indeed.
The waning fire reflects the loss of love. This whole thing worked for me. Thanks, Amy
Wonderful contrast of images and words Jim. It's the perfect way to portray that loneliness and the memories and feelings that still burn inside.
What an emotional tale. I am hopeful that perhaps the love will be rekindled or she will find another mate.
I love that Jim!!! You can really feel her yearning; very emotional~~~
the mind wins...!
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