Drifting where we mustn't go
Spining trees drifting mist wind gently blows
Harder by midday trees lost in the mist
Yet they hold their fruit squint against the wind
We huddle cuddle against still cruel wind
Passion knows no end leaves around us blow
Blowing leaves midst of fruit juices we kissed
Missed the mark ever turns to rain not mist
Drifting where we mustn't go trees in wind
We pick our fruit before wind harder blows
Where blows love's light mist to rain, a hard wind
_ _ _ _
- Photos and Poem Copyright, Jimmiehov 2010, 2016 and 2018, All Rights Reserved
- Marian presented the 'Tritina' poem to us. It is a three verse, three line each structure and ends with another line. The first verse endings are 1,2,3 withe the following verses ending per the second and third lines of the chart below. The final line must contain the words, 1, 2, and 3 in that order. I cheated once, at least, and used one rhyming end word instead of repeating the correct word again.
1-2-3
3-1-2
2-3-1
- The birds are a part I cropped today from a Harbor Picture I took at the Harbor at La Serenta, Chile in 2016 while the tree photo was taken by me near Quebec City, Canada, in 2010. I posted it that year, 2010 in a poem, "Joie de vivre [Joy of living] ", link.
Labels: Love Poem, Personal-Challenge-2018, Poem forms, Real Toads, Syllabic Form
10 Comments:
This isn't an easy poem challenge and you did well. I like the squinting, huddle cuddle, picking fruit... light mist and hard rain. Nice.
Very nicely done, Jim. I felt huddle cuddled by your tritina. ;)
Makes me think of Hanzel and Gretel huddled together in the forest, except they're lovers instead of siblings. I really enjoyed this.
Totally genius to use "kissed" for mist in middle. Love it!!
Having just been out in the scent of appletrees I would totally love to pick some fruit.
The last line is spectacular in a really fine poem!!
One of your truly better poems. Excellent firm
Sure put me in mind of a wind storm.
Great poem. Flowing naturally in this form. Your ending was lovely.
Great job of taking us into the storm!
Teresa
Post a Comment
<< Home