Sunday, November 16, 2008

One Single Impression: Courage

Courage Defeated

off to bed she trudged
our sweet little girl of four
please don't make me go

what's the problem dear
monster waits under my bed
see no monster here

every night she looked
waiting boogey man to find
never did appear

then age eight she takes
casual peak beneath her bed
big girl courage gained

rawe boo--got ya now
scary boogey man did jump
mama mama come

little brother found
grinning ear to ear that night
whipping he sure got

now age twenty-three
neath the bed her husband looks
satisfies her plight

Copyright © 2008 Jimmiehov. All Rights Reserved

Original poem: read it here
Painting is easy when you don’t know how, but very difficult when you do. Edgar Dégas The same goes for my poetry attempts (don't know how, but I enjoy it!).

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9 Comments:

At Monday, November 17, 2008 4:56:00 AM, Blogger Jim said...

I wish to thank everyone who looked over my previously posted poem for this prompt.
It was not fitting to stay on this blog so I moved it to my 'save storage blog'.
Click on the last link below the current poem if you care to read that post.
Warning, it is not a pleasant poem. One reader labeled it "kind of a comedic/noir thing".
..

 
At Monday, November 17, 2008 5:49:00 AM, Blogger Julie said...

Jim, I read this verse and I read your original. The thing that pleased me the most about the original were the comments. I am looking for a meme where the comments do not always have to be positive and affirming. Where if I don't like something then I can so so as long as I justify my opinion. I am feeling really hemmed in my memes at the moment and your original post indicated to me that there are some readers here who will express a part-way honest opinion. It was like a breath of fresh air ...

 
At Monday, November 17, 2008 6:51:00 AM, Blogger qualcosa di bello said...

i was privvy to both & i can say that they showcase your wide abilities! this one is so cute, something i can recall happening in times past in our home.

 
At Monday, November 17, 2008 8:31:00 AM, Anonymous Deborah Godin said...

Jim - It's occurred to me since I began participating in OSI that in writing and posting, we all run the risk, so to speak, of feeling a poem has been misunderstood by some readers. And the same goes for the leaving of comments. I've had feedback from readers telling me they got something out of a poem that I never intended. Whether it's something that pleases me, or makes me want to go back and explain myself, I have always gained from seeing it through another's eyes. Anyway, I hope you will continue to post poems of all sorts; there's room for everything, and it all adds to our mutual sharing here at OSI.

 
At Monday, November 17, 2008 11:12:00 AM, Blogger tumblewords said...

Courage shows up in this one, for sure!

 
At Monday, November 17, 2008 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Quiet Paths said...

Either way, it's always nice to be able to take something back with one button publishing - I sure do understand. I read the first but it was hard for me having been through the suicide of one of my closest friends last year. This one is tender and comical and oh so true. Bless her husband. That's what really grabbed me. Well done.

 
At Tuesday, November 18, 2008 5:11:00 AM, Blogger DeLi said...

i always like passing by your place Jim.its witty and honest and direct and it is not only about pleasantries..your poems are lifelike and i can relate to it

 
At Tuesday, November 18, 2008 10:14:00 AM, Blogger gautami tripathy said...

I like the way it progresses.

foundations of wonder

 
At Wednesday, November 19, 2008 12:25:00 AM, Blogger Patois said...

I'm going to speak just to this one. I adore it. I see her progression. I am her. I really am. (Well, not really, but you know what I mean.) And I'm grateful I've found someone willing to look under beds and in closets for me.

Nicely done.

 

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